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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24532519">Overworked and Underfucked</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kameiko/pseuds/Kameiko'>Kameiko</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Deus Ex: Mankind Divided</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Banter, Drinks, Fluff, Hijinks &amp; Shenanigans, Humor, Multi, Quarantine, Romance, Strip Games</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:00:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24532519</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kameiko/pseuds/Kameiko</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The three stooges are bored under lockdown, and one of them thought it be a good idea to buy a stripper pole. This is their story.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adam Jensen/Duncan MacReady/Francis Pritchard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Overworked and Underfucked</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perversion_Incarnate/gifts">Perversion_Incarnate</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Oh…my…GOD…! Jensen and MacReady REALLY have outdone themselves during this quarantine! A stripper pole? Really? I don’t think these poor essential delivery workers REALLY want to be out delivering such…such…disputed behavioral metal things! Jensen’s metal ass is enough of a metric ton to handle already. Where are we even going to put this thing in his apartment? All three of us have been stuck here for two days now, bored out of our minds, and Mac had the great idea of going “Hey? Want to cure some boredom? Give me the internet! I’ll make our lives worthwhile!”. Granted these two are essential to the government, but I am NOT considered special. I am not even LEGALLY allowed to be here! I swear if I get caught someone’s-</em>
</p><p>Francis…</p><p>
  <em>-going to pay for this! It’s only a matter of time before the Prague government figures out who I am, and who I worked for in the past that I-</em>
</p><p>FRANCIS!</p><p>
  <em>Who’s rudely calling my name? I am trying not to blow-</em>
</p><p>“EARTH TO FRANCIS!” Adam waves his hand in front of the other’s face to get him to snap back into this reality and not his inner monologuing one where all their heads are on digital stakes. When yelling in Pritchard’s face doesn’t work, the next best thing would be to-SLAP! A loud scream followed by loud cursing is echoing through the living room. Adam is pretty sure people in the next country over could here his potty mouth. “Oh good, you’re back among the living. You nearly had me ask Mac over there to smack you with the pole.”</p><p>Mac waves to his two quarantine lovers on the couch, who he’s been dating for a couple of months now. Long story short on how he roped himself into this: alcohol and stumbling in drunk outside of Jensen’s apartment one-night ranting about how good looking he is and how he wants to bend him over and fuck him silly. How did that lead to a romantic threesome? Getting turned on by two guys making out on the couch and never questioning the sanity of the situation or Mac’s state of play mind. All in all, this leads him to being busy setting up the final parts of the miniature stand the pole is supposed to rig itself into for support. He can’t wait till this thing is in, so he can show off his dance moves that he learned while on tour for many years in the desert. There’s not a lot to do in specific campsites designated for his black ops team to have a certain level of fun, so sue him for being a bit adventurous with his free time by improvising with tent poles.</p><p>
  <em>Of course, the older of us three is the one having a giddy of a time! God, I wish to be back in Detroit working for Sarif about now, and not here waiting for Mac to dress down into his leopard print underwear and shake his banana hammock in order for us to put 1 credit chips in them. The mental image is fine, but the old man might throw out his back twerking like he’s some rap lady from an era long ago. </em>
</p><p>Mac places his hand on the pole to inspect the stability of it. It seems to be sturdy enough to handle him. He steps onto the platform and starts doing circles with his head thrown back and stops in front of the two. He winks at them and stands right back up and shakes his hip to the side. Adam’s expression is hard to read since his eyebrows are still locked in one position and those shades are covering his eyes that maybe showing some lust and a tinge of wanting to just bend some cocky brit over in order to give him a big old spanking. Pritchard on the other hand is rubbing his chin calculating how many credit chips he can fit in the other man’s underwear. They have the weekend to themselves due to state police being really strict with the quarantine that really, he’s surprised the delivery driver even made it to their door unfazed. This gives them plenty of time to ponder the science around the manscaping.</p><p>Adam throws his arm behind the couch and gives Pritchard a pinch on his shoulder. “Relax your mind there, Francis. I don’t need you to blow a fuse in that big brain of yours.” Adam brings his drink up to his lips, nearly forgetting he has a glass of his favorite whiskey in his hands. Watching his lover set up something very exotic comes with its distractions and consequences that will be followed-up later when there’s an emergency briefing during a conference call. Hope the channel is secure this time. Don’t need random people coming into their calls that claim to be big booty dancers. Chang learned his lesson that day by never suggesting something so irrational and fun ever again.</p><p>“Just so you know, Jensen, I am not overthinking the matter. I just want to know what kind of stripper briefs we plane to be wearing while shaking our…man things to one another.” Pritchard crosses his legs in embarrassment. Of course, he’s just wearing regular, boring white underwear, but with a bit of persuasion from his lovers he has no problem with changing into something tighter or just flat out go birthday suit. They’ve all seen each other naked, and there’s never a competition who has the nicer penis of the three. Hint: the stereotypical winner is the augmented man with the natural dick that has an unnatural speed boost that provides maximum prostate pleasure. Pritchard can see this as the next sex ad for whatever augment supply company that decides it wants to invest in penises.</p><p>
  <em>Oh, goody! And I would probably be right on board buying up everything the Sarif competition has to offer! But…I have two boyfriends in this wonderful and dysfunctional polyamorous relationship. Having penis pumps and augmented dicks wouldn’t help my sex drive with how…”moody” I am, according to Jensen, of course. None of these are my words, or am I overthinking the situation again? Wouldn’t they improve my mental health capacity? Surely, I know I last a really long time with the two, and they get mad when I outmatch them-</em>
</p><p>“FRANCIS!” Adam lightly smacks Pritchard on the back of the head to get his attention. Adam sets his empty glass down and claps his hands. “Mac is ready to start the show! Want to take some bets here to see who’s going to go up there, join him, and fuck right there and then?”</p><p>Mac doesn’t wait for an answer. He starts moving his hips side to side, with his hands reaching for the tail ends of his shirt, pulls it over his head, waves it around his own head before tossing it at Adam’s where it lands nicely on top of that slicked back hair. He blows a kiss to him. “Keep that as a souvenir, love. You may never get another shot at a piece of my clothing!”</p><p>
  <em>I thought this is supposed to be a pole for dancing, not a stage for a tease only? Spread them legs, MacReady. We as American males demand to see the hot stuff of the British banana! </em>
</p><p>Adam chuckles and removes the shirt. He looks over back at Pritchard to see he’s really getting into the show with all the facial expressions he’s presenting. Adam’s surprised! He’s never seen so many horn faces on one lover before! “You’re becoming excited, Francis. Do you want to go touch his chiseled abs before I do?”</p><p>Mac holds up his hand to stop the antsy pantsy Pritchard. “Damn, ponytail, I know you’re ready to ravish my lush body, but there’s one thing missing to set the mood.” Mac wiggles his eyebrows, shaking his ass as he unbuttons his jeans.</p><p>Adam picks up the remote from the table and turns on one of the music stations on TV. <em>Bring me the Horizon</em> starts blasting through the speakers. Pritchard covers his ears, mood instantly turned off when he hears the lead singer screaming at the top of his lungs. Adam sets the remote back down and smirks at the discomfort that his lover next to him is experiencing. Mac might be into his grunge and Pritchard into his Final Fantasy soundtracks but give Adam some hardcore metal and rock any day of the week, and he’s ready to take on a retail job!</p><p>“You know the lead singer…what’s his name…Olive Psycho? Olives Sike? Oily Psyche?” Pritchard’s mind is terrible when it comes to remembering unimportant things! Ah! The name is on the tip of his tongue. Why can’t he remember this? Oh wait, they stopped this way back in 2019. He wonders if Jensen even knows the vocalist is now Mac’s age. Wouldn’t that be amusing to tell him?</p><p>Mac wants to bang his head against the closest heavy metal, pun intended, object that will give him a concussion if he has to hear anymore winning! “Jensen! For the love of whatever is out there in the universe, turn that shit off! I am not headbanging in a mosh pit with my junk about to be hanging out!”</p><p>“But the song that’s full of Sugar-“ Adam’s interrupted by Mac throwing his shoes at his head, aiming perfectly in the middle. What a lie Mac fed to him! He told Jensen that he wouldn’t throw anymore clothes at him! Shoes count as clothes! Adam made sure to dodge Mac’s smelly socks.</p><p><em>Anymore of this awkward flirting and song then my stomach is going to be the one full of Sugar, Honey, Ice, and Tea, in no particular order, pun ruined. </em>Mac’s pants land in Pritchard’s lap. He picks them up and waves them out in front of him and folds them. <em>No need to cause unnecessary wrinkles! He’ll thank me later when he doesn’t have time to do laundry, because I sure as Hell am not doing it! I have my own load of problems and fluffiness to deal with! </em></p><p>Mac fixes his dark blue boxer-briefs to show off his perfectly decorated assets. “I have to strut what God gave me.” Turning around, he places his hands on his hips, and brings his ass around town again. Making sure to go from Jensen to Pritchard. He’s not sure which one is going to start getting hard first or jump him while he’s splitting his legs in midair. Mac winces at the thought of busted blue balls. Ok, not the brightest idea he has in mind, but…a stupid competition does pass the time!</p><p>
  <em>Oh, for Christs Sake! Just take THEM OFF, MACREADY! Not all of us want to wait here all day for you to bring it out to Bringing some sunset or sunrise Pirates of the Caribbean naming band off! Hm, that’s an idea for movie night tonight. A Pirates marathon! Minus the last movie, because, ew, that movie sucked. Wait…why is Jensen staring at me again? Does he know I am losing my mind here? I can’t decide between boning or pirating. Just picture Mac in those cute briefs, dry fucking Adam Jensen while I am sitting here with my dick right in-</em>
</p><p>“FRANCIS! You’re doing the star gazing with drool coming out of your mouth look again!” Adam grabs Pritchard’s shoulders and shakes them. “Stop daydreaming about something that’s not going to happen! The REAL thing is three feet in front of you, pleading for you to go up there, tip him money, and then take his too tight to be legal boxers off!”</p><p><em>Snort. The only objects that are technically not even registered with some collation is your augmentations, Jensen. You’re a registered weapon of mass destruction that’s free to roam around whenever they please! And I’ll be damned if anyone tries to ship you off! I’ll show them and you! </em>Pritchard gets up, grabs the remote, and changes the music to something more fitting….Africa starts playing…or more ironic. What kind of band came up with this horny song again?</p><p>Mac’s eyes widen with such intensity. This is going to be his new jam for now on when he wants to bless the rains down on these two morons. He backs his ass to the pole behind him, reaches upwards, and grabs the cold bar. Time to show off his dancing skills! Warning: he’s not a professional here and will pull a muscle in the morning when it’s time to get out of bed, and they’re all doing this will not being intoxicated!</p><p>Adam licks his lips in excitement. “I have the urge to start talking dirty to you, Mac.” He’s not ready to hold his horses here. He’s ready for anything that includes action and wanting to dance right in front of him. Pritchard taps Adam on the behind and tells him to go get ‘em! Adam looks back at Pritchard and gives him a shake of the head.</p><p>“Come dance with me, Adam. Get naked and shake that beautiful augmented booty. It’s delicious.” Mac moves to the side of the pole and wraps his legs around it, moving his body like a worm that’s standing upright.</p><p>“I am starting to think you’re too old to do anything more.” Adam takes off his jacket and drops it on the ground. Pritchard scoffs at the discard of an awfully expensive piece of clothing! Adam chooses to ignore the complaints. He’ll get it dry cleaned when the business opens back up. The rest of his clothes start coming off until he’s standing butt naked in front of Mac, showing him he’s not afraid to stand there proudly with his hands on his hips. “Move over, Mac. I am going to show you how a flexible and hip generation can do this.”</p><p><em>They’re technically in the same generation of chromosomes…</em>”Just don’t get pole burn on your genitals, Jensen. Remember what happened last time you had to navigate your way through metal poles?”</p><p>“Don’t remind me, Francis.” Jensen had an ice pack on his nuts for over a week because some hacker pressed the wrong button, and WHOOPS! Out came a metal bar from the floor. He didn’t even sound sorry he even made such a mistake!</p><p>Mac backs up off the stage and sits down next to Pritchard. He leans back and places his arms over the back of the couch and crossed his leg. “Alright, augmented beauty boy, let’s see you strut that dermal bum of yours.”</p><p>Jensen raises his hand and shakes it around a little, a little spinning light shows up right where his thumb is as he aims it towards the lights on his wall. They dim down to show the current mood of questionable testosterone. Next, the music changes to a more upbeat club remix. Time for the show to start. Adam grabs his partnered object, getting his hands ready in a position close to his balls. He doesn’t want to take any chances there since he has no dermal armor there. The material doesn’t exactly expand that way.</p><p>“BOOOO! BOOOOOOOOO! BORING! JENSEN IS BORING!” Mac gives the man a thumbs down. “Shake your ass already! I am not getting any younger here!”</p><p>“Neither is your boner. Pipe down, Boxer-Briefs!” Pritchard smacks Mac in the back of his head. He’s not in the mood to deal with angry people other than himself. He turns back to Adam to see he’s leaning against the pole with his arms crossed and not doing anything. <em>What a sight to see. Jensen just standing there with his dick hanging out. Why did I expect more? Sigh. Maybe it’s time I show these bad tasting music listeners how it’s done…</em></p><p>Pritchard moves Mac away from him. He wastes no time in taking off all his clothes and throwing them right at Mac’s head. Poor man has been the front end of the clothing assault brigade this whole time. Pritchard feels no remorse for making the man smell like the extra fabric softener kind. The way he rubs his clothed body up against him in bed confirms he needs the gentle touch. Moving back to the task, he takes his place on the stage and pushes Jensen away from the spotlight before he could even get started. Jensen stumbles off, nearly tripping over his own two feet. <em>Humph! No laugh track here. </em></p><p>Adam changes the music back to what he listened too earlier. “Let’s see if you can dance, dance to MIDDLEFINGERS UP IF YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK!”</p><p>Not the name of the song, but it hit just perfectly for Adam to shout it to the high heavens. <em>This is NOT an appropriate song! Honestly, Jensen, PLEASE get a sense of music taste! </em>“I hope you’re not expecting me to release my ponytail and start headbanging in hopes to form a circle mosh, mosh, wall of death…whatever you kids call it nowadays.”</p><p>Mac laughs. “You wouldn’t survive a kick to the head by random crowd surfers, so how do you expect to be tossed from side to side like a bouncy castle?”</p><p>“My hair buoyancy will protect me!” Pritchard releases the band that holds his hair back and lets his hair flow down in front of him. Mac shouts out to throw the band! Throw the band to him! Pritchard wonders how the Hell is this man even sober right now? He takes the band and flicks it at his nose, aiming right smack in the middle! He’s still got the aim! <em>Thank you, Jesus, for all those archery lessons in video games. </em></p><p>“OW!” Mac rubs his nose. “No man panties tip for you tonight!”</p><p>“I’m not looking for a handout. Be quiet now, or you’ll be asked to leave the viewing area and go wait outside with all the other fans.” Pritchard winks at Adam and points in his direction. “You there! You look like a GREAT contestant for the next pole dance! You’re already nude and ready to get to work!”</p><p>Adam takes a throw pillow from the couch and covers his penis. “No comments from the peanut gallery.”</p><p>“I’m not the one sitting here rubbing my crotch sweat all over your cushions.” Pritchard turns around and immediately wraps his long legs around the pole. He uses his failed rope climbing skills from high school gym to move himself up in a worm like fashion. He manages to get mid pole before he starts sliding down. <em>No! No! NO! BAD! BAD BALL BURN IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME! Grip the pole, Frank! GRIP IT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT! CURSES TO MY SWEATY HANDS! </em></p><p>Help. Pritchard is secretly calling out for help. He’s afraid to move his body in motion in fear of landing on his ass or do a split somehow. He leans his head back to see his lovers are looking at him with confusion and moving their hands out in front of them in a motion telling him to hurry the fuck up and do something. He gulps. Jensen then gets the bright idea to ask him if he needs help after that nervous gulp. How smirky. Pritchard blows a raspberry at him like a mature adult would do. He brings himself back and extends out his leg to the side. Just do a toe touch on the pole and call it a day. At least he can say that he actually did something! Not correctly though. A for effort.</p><p>“BOO! This is boring! BOO! Where are the tomatoes I can throw?” Mac takes a pillow and throws it at Pritchard’s head. Pritchard yelps in surprise and ends up sliding down the pole more. He screams for help and Adam Icarus Dashes over to the “I nearly had my penis scraped off by cold metal” man to rescue him. He’s thankful when Adam places his hands on his back. He didn’t want to show Mac his embarrassment, but he’s sure that Adam is sharing the secondhand embarrassment for him.</p><p><em>How dare that psychotic booing menace! That’s it! He’s sleeping out in the doghouse tonight, and yes, I know this is Jensen’s apartment, but I am going to be very convincing with my…. intellectual integrity! I-Oh my God, what the Hell is Jensen doing? </em>Pritchard is too distracted by the penis moving against his back. Jensen is trying to get Pritchard back in a standing position, and he accidentally brushed him against that. How much more stupid can this get?</p><p>DING DONG. DING DONG. DING DONG.</p><p>Mac quickly puts his pants on, so he can answer the door, considering he’s the only one that’s halfway decently dressed. That, and he doesn’t want whoever is standing outside to get shot by a police drone. “Who could that be and how did they get here so freely?”</p><p>DING DONG. DING DONG. DING DONG.</p><p>“Hold your britches, mate! I’m coming!” Mac hops around, trying to get his pants up, nearly slamming his back into the island counter. “Fuck me!”</p><p>DING DONG. DING DONG. DING DONG.</p><p>“What the fuck did I say you stupid cunt?” Mac reaches for the door knob and open it….oh…</p><p>Outside in the wet rain stands their boss…Miller…an angry Jimmy Miller…Oh dear. Mac stands to the side and offers him an invite into the apartment. Miller gives him a look stating that this isn’t his apartment, and shouldn’t be inviting anyone in. Mac chooses to ignore the comment as he closes the door behind him. He’s trying to learn restraint. The restraint not to bash Miller’s head on the countertop. “Oh, Jensen! We have a guest! Put your clothes on! You too, Pritchy!”</p><p>Jensen turns his full-frontal nudity to his boss. “Shit..” He covers his front up.</p><p>“Nothing I haven’t seen before, Jensen. I’ve seen and read all your biometric data.” Miller looks behind Adam to see the thing that’s causing all these bare ass essentials. “If you two needed something to do while being locked down, I would have had a carrier pigeon send over some homework.”</p><p>Where the Hell is Pritchard? Jensen looked around to see that the hacker has left the scene. Prick probably went to the bathroom when he heard who came in. Good idea. He might say something that would send him a one-way trip back to the states in a police force armored helicopter with the way he likes to run his mouth. Or just forget about the thought and offer Jim a drink. Yes, drinks are good. Drinks make the world stop spinning for a few seconds.</p><p>“Alright, boys, I guess I’ll show you how it’s done.” Miller ignores Jensen’s peace offering and leans over the stage to inspect the pole. “Whoever order this didn’t go for the cheap route! Good job! When one of you two get drunk off their ass they won’t have to worry about being implanted in the butt!”</p><p>Mac does a double take. “I need a drink.” Mac goes over to Adam with a set of clothes and hands it to him. “Put your pants and trousers on! You’re giving Miller ideas, and I have no intention in seeing him naked!”</p><p>Jensen teases Mac, “Really? He’s your best friend after all. Why wouldn’t you want to see him naked?”</p><p>“because I am with you and the other idiot!” They’re both idiots and Miller is purposely ignoring them. He’s just admiring his newfound love interest as he strips down to an undershirt and boxers. All those layers of green and underneath he looks like a macho man that need to find a good time or get laid. He wastes no time in wrapping his legs around and does a spin with his body motion. He kicks his legs up with such a flawless performance! No ball sliding! He’s even doing this one handed! He’s his own three ring circus! He’s-<em>OH MY GOD WHY’S INTERPOL’S TOP DOG ON MY POLE?</em></p><p>Pritchard ignores the glistening sweat the man is releasing…and soaking through the shirt….his toned muscles look ravishing…snap out of it! Pritchard scoots back to the bathroom and pretends he doesn’t have to pee again. He pulls up Jensen on his I-LINK and starts yelling at him, “JENSEN! I know your bosses dancing is super sexy and all, but why is he here? Get him out of here! Out! Out! Out! He’s starting to give me bad ideas!”</p><p>Jensen turns to see that Miller is indeed having a good time…humping the pole…bending his crotch area in places that he wishes to unsee. “Ummm….I’ll get back to you.” Jensen goes over to Miller and cautiously reaches out for a shoulder….sweaty shoulder…Oh God, why is he good at this? What horror story is about to find out if he bothers to ask? Does he want to ask? Do Australians have a lot of free time in the military? He doesn’t know! Of course they have free time! He must have been lonely for a while…oh, he’s shining so brightly...Need better eyecare.</p><p>Miller stops when he feels Jensen’s hand. “Sorry. I needed the work out.” Miller jumps off the pole with poise and grace that Mac feels the sudden urge to clap and find that hidden spotlight somewhere in this room. Take a bow, Miller. You might not get this chance again.</p><p><em>ASK HIM WHY HE’S HERE ALREADY, JENSEN! I am NOT going to ask you again! </em>Adam smacks the side of his head lightly and goes subvocal, “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Francis. I don’t mind if you stay in that bathroom for all eternity. Just please make sure to cleanup after yourself and throw my laundry in the dryer while you’re in there hiding like an armadillo.”</p><p><em>How dare you talk to me like that! I am going to leave your clothes in the washing machine, and you will be forced to wear wrinkly clothes! Get your ironing on, Jensen! It’s about time you learn how to do one household chore in your life! </em>Does Pritchard know Jensen could just rewash them? Sigh, God, please strike Jensen down with lightning. He doesn’t know how much longer he can handle this craziness.</p><p>Miller waves his hand in front of Adam. “You in there, Jensen? You spaced out for a minute when Mac here played grab ass with you. I know his hands are a bit of a shock, but that’s no reason not to respond.”</p><p>Mac glares at Miller and mumbles, “You’re one to talk.”</p><p>Adam snaps out of it. “Sorry. Do you want to freshen up?” Payback for Pritchard! The dummy can explain to Miller why he’s hiding in the bathroom. That’ll teach him to put his stupid loudness front and center for attention. Mac is very lucky that he doesn’t have any links in his brain where someone could just obnoxiously call him whenever they please. One nagging hen is all that Jensen needs.</p><p><em>Oh HELL no! You keep him out there! </em>Pritchard hears a muffled thanks from the Aussie and footsteps are making their way down the hallway. <em>Ok! Ok! I am sorry! Please just call him back! I don’t want to go to jail! Please help me! I don’t have a cloaking aug!</em></p><p>Bingo. “Come back, Miller. You need to drink this Jack first and tell us why you’re here.”</p><p>“Good idea. Workouts after a stressful day make me thirsty for Jack.” Miller takes his drink and props himself down next to MacReady on the couch. He brings his glass to Mac’s and they clink. He downs it in one go. Miller’s had a rough day, leave him alone.</p><p>Adam props down next to Mac with his own glass. “Too bad our fourth party member can’t join us.”</p><p>“You were expecting someone else here tonight?” Miller looks towards the bathroom when he heard a loud groan of frustration. “Oh, I see. You already have someone here. Must be a bad case of food poisoning with the way he’s complaining back there. I tell you, don’t eat the fish here! It’s stinky and tastes really bad.”</p><p><em>I hate him. Throw him to the Prague police. </em>Pritchard is ruthless when he’s cornered. Being the voice of reason, Adam speaks up again to his pain in the ass mental connection, “No, I will not, Pritchard. You can come out when he leaves…” Which may be in another eight hours….no Pritchard for eight hours? But also no bathroom breaks for eight hours, and all this alcohol is going to eventually run right through them.</p><p>“Jensen? You there? You look like you’re having an argument inside of your head, and it’s not going in your favor.” Miller receives a look from Mac. He’s obviously not understanding what’s going on.</p><p>“Something like that. You did show up out of the blue to come dance on our pole.” Adam turns to face Mac who’s letting out a snort of laughter. “And you think I have no funny bones.”</p><p>“No, I’m just getting really drunk right now.” Mac covers himself up further with the blanket and leans back against the arm rest with his feet propped up on Adam’s lap. “Be my feet warmer!”</p><p>Adam pushes Mac’s lower body off of him. “The heating pad is in the closet. Go get it yourself.”</p><p>Miller scratches the back of his head and changes the subject to get away from this awkwardness. “I’m here because I couldn’t make it back to my apartment in time.”</p><p>Jensen’s obviously not convinced since Miller is on this side of town! “You live about two blocks down from the shipping company, Miller.”</p><p><em>He’s lonely, Jensen. He’s using this boarding the train crap just to look for an excuse to bombarde on my dance moves! </em>Jensen makes the comment that Pritchard had no dance moves to even begin with. <em>I resent that remark, but I’ll be the bigger person here since we have an oblivious guest. </em>How thoughtful. Adam turns back to Miller and offers him his bed to crash for the night if he needs it. Really, he just wants Pritchard to never come out of the bathroom, so why not use Miller for this situation?</p><p>“I get the feeling you just want me to crash on your bed for some ulterior motive.” Miller sets his empty glass down on the table and stands up stretching the kinks out of his back. When Adam didn’t respond with any retort Miller knew something is up. “Alright, I usually get a quip when I counter your sadistic side, what’s going on here?”</p><p><em>Don’t answer him! He’ll check! That man is nosier than a cat trying to find the world’s sunniest spot! </em>Adam goes to answer Miller’s question, but Mac, being the crazy man he is speaks up first, “We have our own guest who is very shy living in the bathroom. He thinks you’re glistening with sweat and had to peak from way back there with binoculars to get a good look at you.”</p><p>Miller looks at his shirt to see that it’s soaked in sweat. “I guess I can understand that, but I didn’t know you two had a third wheel in this relationship. When will I meet him?”</p><p>The two tense up at the mention of wanting to meet the hacker. Mac waves his hand in front of Miller, brushing off his reluctant eagerness with a bout of nervous laughter. Good job, no one’s going to find this suspicious at all! “When he arrives. He’s just available via laptop right now.”</p><p>“But you said he has binoculars.” Miller is plain confused. He doesn’t understand what’s going on, or if these two have had too much to drink before he got here. “Maybe it’s tine I just go crash in the back.”</p><p>Nobody argues with him. They follow Miller’s body movements towards the back, but he stops in the hallway and walks all the way back. “Jensen, your stature is tall enough for me. May I borrow some sleepwear? I promise I’ll leave the underwear, and I could really use a shower.”</p><p><em>Please make him leave! He’s going to see me and use the washing machine and dryer! There’s no where to hide here, and the shower doesn’t have a curtain! Why’s this thing completely see through? Oh, I know! I’ll turn on the shower! That’s an idea! Jensen! Pretend the shower can be controlled at the press of a button while I use all the hot water! </em>Pritchard cuts the call before there’s anymore arguing. He steps inside the shower and starts singing in the most offkey tone anyone has ever heard. Jensen swears he heard a drone malfunction just now.</p><p>Mac raises his finger in the air. “Oh! Our guest is off the laptop and doing his business in the shower! Sorry, Miller. No shower for you tonight. Just go to sleep and I’ll help Jensen here with the sheets in the morning, so don’t worry about getting salt water on anything.”</p><p>“You said there’s only a laptop-“ A loud shriek is heard followed by a thud from the bathroom. Miller opens the bathroom door to see that Pritchard has slipped and fallen in the shower. “Jensen! Mac! Your boyfriend has fallen, and he can’t get up!”</p><p>Mac and Adam run inside the bathroom and help Pritchard up. The two quickly check to see if there’s any injuries. None. Just a bruised bum and ego. “Get off me!” Pritchard waves his arms from side to side to let the others know to give him some space. They back away from him and out of the bathroom.</p><p>The shower is free! Miller waits up front again. “This has been a very weird night for even you two.”</p><p><em>Speak for yourself, Interpol! </em>Pritchard wraps a towel around his waist and picks up his clothes off the floor, sighing in disgust that they’re all wet now because of his backwards thinking! Great! “Hey! If that guy wants to throw his clothes in the washer right now, I would do so! Don’t worry my penis is wrapped with cloth!”</p><p>Jensen barks out, “Real smooth, Francis!” Don’t give away his name! Pritchard knows this is unavoidable. He exits the bathroom with his arms crossed, making his way back up front by doing the walk of shame. Mac whistles at the sight of his toned ponytail lover. “Keep it up, Brit, and you’ll be sleeping out on the steps where the police drones will see you!”</p><p>“Don’t get mad at me. My ideas to keep you safe are fool proof!” A toothy grin behind those words of lies.</p><p>Miller hears his phone ring and answers it. “Oh? I can go outside now without getting death beams rained down on me? Great! No! No! I am enthused, sergeant! You just saved me from a night of complete chaos!”</p><p>The three watch Miller get his act together and leave through the front door without so much as a goodbye. Pritchard groans at this entire mess! Just a peaceful night of quarantine is what he wanted! One peaceful night where there’s no illuminati chaos or Jensen asserting his hero complex out in the world. Mac? Pritchard’s not worried about him. He’s a clean and cut kind of guy who keeps his nose out of people’s business. A man anyone can count on when they’re not looking to get laid or snark a comeback.</p><p>Mac leans over to taunt the poor conflicted man. “Go chase after him. Pin him up against the wall and give him a BIG FAT KISS for us!” He blows a kiss to Pritchard.</p><p><em>This is NOT how I pictured for my night to end! So embarrassed! WAY EMBARASSEDQ! Over the MOON embarrassed! Into the next SOLAR SYSTEM embarrassed! If there’s a multiverse I am embarrassed in ALL OF THEM! </em>Pritchard hides his face in his hands. He’s rethinking on the idea of throwing Mac out to the wolves. He sits down on the couch, frustrated, partially naked, and NOT enjoying the way Mac is running a hand through his hair. <em>I am about to sever his fingers!</em></p><p>“Oh, I wish to be in the shower with you next time, beautiful.” Mac sniffs Pritchard’s hair. “Did you change your shampoo and conditioner again? This one smells too manly.”</p><p>“How’s that even allowed to be a thing with you?” Pritchard pushes Mac away from him. “Go sniff Jensen’s hair!”</p><p>He does and gets equally pushed back. “He’ll end up resting his chin against my soft hair for hours so no.” Jensen fixes the front of his hair where Mac tried to be a giant sniffing puppy.</p><p>Eventually boredom is starting to take its toll on them. The music is completely turned off, and it’s 2 AM. Their card games consisted of slapjack, Texas Hold’em, Rummy, Hearts, BS, Go Fish, War, Speed, and everything under the sun that got them through whatever, which all consisted of blaming Adam for cheating, because he kept winning them all. He’s got to have a hidden statistic card log in that brain of his somewhere. They’re also completely out of alcohol and started snacking on oranges. Yes, the oranges in the apartment are finally getting eaten!</p><p>Mac gets up and dethrones the rest of his clothes. “I know what we can do! You two can smack my ass while I twerk on this pole!”</p><p>Pritchard takes the deck of cards and flicks the whole stack in a bridge format at Mac. “Or you can play 52 card pick up!”</p><p>“That’s it! No British booty for you tomorrow!” Mac huffs his chest out and sits his naked butt back down on the couch.</p><p>“Oh, how will I ever live without a bubbly Euro butt and an American augmented ass?” The last part Pritchard said could mean both figuratively and literally. <em>God, I need some sleep. I am too drunk for this. </em>He barely had any alcohol, but his tolerance for anything right now is zero. Plus, Adam drank all the alcohol for them, so no one would get alcohol poisoning tonight.</p><p>Jensen gets up and grabs more pillows and blankets from both his bedroom and the closet. He returns to make a nest for everyone to sober up on, also known as: the couch. The two are thankful as they curl up under them. Adam wishes Mac would put on his underwear to avoid any butt prints when they wake up, but he’s hoping for too much; because his lover is snoring and drooling away with his head rested on his leg. Pritchard’s not amused that his own lap is currently being taken over as a footrest. <em>Give and take I suppose…ugh, his feet! Why do I have to deal with the smell of his feet! </em>Pritchard puts part of his cover over them.</p><p>Jensen chuckles. “Good night, Francis and Mac.” Adam scratches Mac’s beard.</p><p>“Night, Jensen and moron.” Pritchard closes his eyes and sighs.</p><p>Mac tiredly opens his eyes. “Can you two shut up already? I’m trying to sleep!”</p><p>They both sigh even louder and pray to God that the morning is going to be better when they wake up, because this quarantine sucks!</p>
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